texasfight.org :: david

My friends Siam and Meow went off to Bangkok to get married. A group of us decided to go to the ceremony and get a chance to see a part of the world we’d never been before. So, we bought the plane tickets and set off on our grand adventure!

PHI-PHI: PRONOUNCED ‘PEE-PEE’

It’s another early morning for us. I don’t think we ever actually get to sleep in late during the whole trip. But today is pretty exciting: We’re going to Phuket! It’s an island off the west coast of Thailand. We go to the airport and board our plane. Today we’re flying Nok Air, “the Southwest Airlines of Thailand”. Well, it’s almost like Southwest Airlines. There’s no free peanuts or soft drinks, so that’s a minus. However, the flight attendants are all young, female, and attractive. So, that’s a plus.

It’s only an hour and a half to get to Phuket. We land, and it’s raining. Not good! The whole point of being here is to enjoy the beach and soak up the sun! Note meets us at the airport, and we’re off to get some lunch. We stop at a restaurant and Note orders up the food.

Meow showing off the prawns

I’m going to stop right here and say this is one of the best meals I’ve ever had. We’re on the island, so you expect the seafood to be fresh. It’s fresh, and fantastic. First up is Tom Yum soup with seafood. It’s freaking amazing. Also on the table is some fresh fish, some gigantic prawns, and various other dishes. They’re all unbelievably good, not to mention spicy. This is the first meal I’ve had in Thailand where I’ve had to take a break from the spice. But it’s so good that it’s hard to stop. I’m in love with Phuket already.

The rain seems to be letting up a bit, and we continue onward. We’ve been informed that there is a typhoon heading toward Myanmar (which is pretty close to where we are), but we’re not in the path. Whew!

On the ferry to Phi Phi

We’re not actually staying in Phuket today. We’re taking a ferry to the Phi Phi Islands. This is the most touristy place that we’re going on our trip. Note loads us up on the ferry and takes off — she has to work! It’s an hour and a half to get there by boat, and it’s full of tourists. In particular, there’s a group of women from England being pretty obnoxious. Nobody likes them, and they singlehandedly make me never want to go back to England for a long time. Plus, I’ve been surrounded by Asians for so long, it’s kind of shocking to see so many white people. You almost start to forget that you are white. But then, you run into people like these women, and that illusion goes out the window.

Walking on the beach with the tide out

We catch sight of the main Phi Phi island, and it’s really spectacular. The island seems to explode from the sparkling green water. It’s mountainous and lush. We arrive on land, and our resort is about 50 feet from the pier. We all check into our rooms and immediately head out to the beach. The tide is out…. really out. You can walk for hundreds of feet before hitting water. We hang out and take pictures. Kids are clam digging. It’s very peaceful.

Once we’re done with the beach, we explore the island. There’s only one walkway on the whole island, and it’s full of restaurants. We walk the full path in about ten minutes, and decide on a nice-looking seafood restaurant (what else?). Siam and Meow order food for us, and it’s pretty good. The only thing wrong is that we’re surrounded by tourists. Oh well, what can you do?

Siam and Meow walking back to the resort

After dinner, we walk back to the hotel. Meow makes us stop by a Rotee (”Thai pancake”) stand for dessert. These are pieces of dough flattened out, fried, then doused with sweetened condensed milk. Man, they’re good! I think I like them more than Thai tacos.

We’re all pretty tired by this point. Once at the hotel, we hand out in Alex and Neff’s room for a bit and eat some fruit. My favorite is mangosteen: it’s sweet and juicy. A pretty good finish to the day. We retire to our rooms and pass out immediately.

My friends Siam and Meow went off to Bangkok to get married. A group of us decided to go to the ceremony and get a chance to see a part of the world we’d never been before. So, we bought the plane tickets and set off on our grand adventure!

WEDDING DAY

The day gets off to an early start. The wedding ceremonies are in our hotel, but Siam informs us that we need to be down at 7 AM. We stayed out fairly late the night before, so the alarm clock in the morning was not a welcome sound.

We get in our suits and head down to the mezzanine. It’s practically empty. It turns out, things don’t really start until 8. I silently shake my fist at Siam, sit down on the couch with Jon, and think of that comfortable bed upstairs…

Eventually, people show up, and we’re ready to begin. First up is the engagement ceremony. Apparently, at one time, people had two ceremonies up to a year apart: an engagement ceremony and a wedding ceremony. Nowadays, though, they do them on the same day. It’s just more convenient this way.

Blocking the way in to the ceremony

We all file into the room. Well, we try to, but Siam is being blocked by a kid with a rope. He has to beg and plead his way to get permission to enter. Finally, the kid relents, and we’re in. Siam’s dad leads us Americans to the front row. This is a little awkward, mainly because we’re bigger and taller than the average Thai, and I think we blocked the view of about half the crowd. But, I’m not one to argue with the groom’s parents on wedding day.

The engagement ceremony mainly consists of bribing the fiancee’s parents with a bunch of gold, in exchange for letting their daughter go. Siam and Meow spend the entire ceremony on their knees in front of their family, and I can tell that Siam’s not used to this position. He’s also sweating profusely in his traditional Thai white suit.

After a bunch of pictures, the ceremony is over, and now it’s snack time. There’s a bunch of pastries and coffee in the back of the room, and everyone chows down. Surprisingly, the big hit seems to be the mini-cheeseburgers. You fly halfway around the world, and you still find burgers.

Alex pouring water on Siam and Meow's hands

Now it’s time for the wedding. We return to our seats and watch the ceremony. There’s a lot going on, and I can’t really say I know what any of it means. At one point, Siam and Meow kneel before an altar and light a candle together… that seems pretty self-explanatory. But, people are saying stuff in Thai and for some reason aren’t providing an English translation. I think the highlight was the pouring of the water. Siam and Meow both kneel and face the room with their hands closed in prayer. Everyone gets in line and pours water on their hands. Even us Americans. It’s pretty cool to be involved in the ceremony.

The ceremony is over, and next up is the reception. We amble down to the reception hall, and it’s huge. It’s got a huge spread of food, and it very well done. The are ice sculptures, a huge cake, and a band. It’s pretty much just like an American reception. We sit at the table labeled ‘Dallas’, and dig in. The food is good. Siam and Meow cut the cake. However, we don’t get any cake! Apparently, only the table marked ‘VIP’ gets cake. They even have VIP service at weddings here!

Siam and Meow finally get to eat

During the entire reception, Siam and Meow have to have their picture taken with everyone. They don’t even get to eat! Only after the reception is over and everyone is gone do they get to eat. We hang around and provide company while they pig out. Also, Siam’s mom provides us with some karaoke entertainment, which is always appreciated.

It’s late in the afternoon by this time, and everyone decides it’s high time for a nap. We head up to the room and pass out for a few hours.

Hanging out at Lizm

At night, we all head out to a club called Lizm. Siam and Meow are there, and they brought friends. We order up a bottle of Chivas Regal. There’s a cover band playing. Pretty soon, we’re all having lots of fun. Oh, and I meet Intt. She’s one of Siam’s friends that lives in Bangkok. She’s awesome, and we spend most of the night talking on the couch. She’s got an iPhone. I check it out, and I notice an app on there I’ve never seen before: iWoman. I click on it, and Intt gets embarrassed. I find it hilarious. I’ll let you google it to figure out what it is.

We stay out until 2 AM, and head home. We have to get up early tomorrow — we’re flying to Phuket in the morning!

My friends Siam and Meow went off to Bangkok to get married. A group of us decided to go to the ceremony and get a chance to see a part of the world we’d never been before. So, we bought the plane tickets and set off on our grand adventure!

SHOPPING IN BANGKOK

Today is Saturday. Siam and Meow are busy all day preparing for their wedding, so they have given us a tour guide for the day: Note. We’re going to meet up with her in a bit to go to the JJ Market, but first it’s time for dim-sum. Tang, who is out of a wheelchair and is able to hobble a bit, meets up with us and takes us to meet her family at a Chinese restaurant. We arrive there, and the hostess ushers us into a private room labeled ‘V.I.P’. Tang’s family is there, and we make our introductions.

The VIP concept seems to be common theme throughout Thailand. Many restaurants have VIP rooms and movie theaters have VIP sections. You pay some money and boom, you’re a VIP. Anyway, at this restaurant, we have a private room with a TV (showing a Muay Thai match, naturally), a couch, a large round table, and two dedicated servers. Your drink is never empty. The food comes out immediately. It’s nice, I have to admit.

JJ Market

The food, as to be expected, was awesome. Plate after plate of food arrives. It never stops, actually. I’m full about halfway through the courses, but I’m determined to try it all. My favorite is the Peking Duck: it’s basically duck skin that you put on a small pancake and eat with sauce. Oh man, is it good!

During the meal, we get a call from Siam. He’s concerned that it’s too hot for the JJ Market (it’s an outdoor bazaar), and that our feeble American constitutions wouldn’t be able to handle it. We inform Siam that we are, in fact, Texans, we know heat, and we’re going to the market, dammit.

After about an hour of non-stop eating, we’re done. Tang’s family is very nice, and they don’t allow us to pay for the meal. It turns out, paying for a meal in Thailand is the hardest thing to do. Everyone is so hospitable!

We meet up with Note and her friend, Plearn. They take us to the JJ Market. This is a gigantic outdoor shopping area that’s only open on weekends. It’s packed with people, it’s packed with vendors. Parts of it smell bad. But overall, it’s pretty awesome. You can wander around for hours and find tons of deals. Thailand is inexpensive in general, and JJ Market is the pinnacle of inexpensive shopping. Oh, and Note bargains for us whenever we say we want something. I do a little souvenir shopping, but I basically wander around and soak it all in.

Note and Plearn

After the market, we take the Skytrain to Siam Square: Bangkok’s shopping mall Mecca. The malls are big: one is seven stories tall — it’s easy to get lost. At the mall, we decide it’s time for Thai tacos. They’re not really called Thai tacos, but that what we call them. Meow introduced them to us the day before. We were driving in the van around Bangkok and she makes us stop by a streetside food cart. She buys us these things that are little pancakes filled with orange… something, and cream. It’s folded together, and it looks like a dessert taco. They are tasty, and they have them at the mall we’re at right now.

Siam Square is full of malls, and Note and Plearn seem determined to take us to them all. They also seem to get a kick out of playing tricks on us. Like hiding in a crowd to make us think that they abandoned us. Or trying to sneak by us when they go on a bathroom break. Oh, how they laughed.

We end up eating dinner at one of the malls. It’s a hot pot place. Basically, you order raw meat and vegetables, and you cook it in a boiling pot of water that’s in the middle of your table. It’s not only tasty, it’s fun.

Cooking in the hot pot

After dinner, we rest up for a bit, take a much needed shower, and then get ready for the Bangkok nightlife. Note and Plearn take us to a place called Y50 to meet with their friends. It’s a cool place — they have a live band, and it has an Austin feel to it. Except that all the songs are in Thai. This is also where we are introduced to the national drink of Thailand: Scotch. Everyone drinks it. Not only that, everywhere you go, it’s bottle service. You buy a bottle of Scotch, and a waiter prepares your drinks for you. I drink Scotch and Soda. Jon drinks Scotch and Shark, which is like Red Bull on steroids. He goes through three bottles of Shark. Jon doesn’t get a lot of sleep tonight.

My friends Siam and Meow went off to Bangkok to get married. A group of us decided to go to the ceremony and get a chance to see a part of the world we’d never been before. So, we bought the plane tickets and set off on our grand adventure!

WAT’S GOING ON?

9 AM, and it time to go sightseeing! Siam and Meow meet us at the hotel bearing gifts: chicken skewers and sticky rice. Yum! That, combined with the complimentary hotel breakfast, gets us ready for the day ahead. We pile into a van and head off.

It’s worth mentioning that we had a driver with us where ever we went. The traffic in Bangkok is insane. The combination of millions of cars, motorcycles, and tuk-tuks driven by people with no regards for lane divisions makes America’s traffic look like child’s play. It feels like your in a video game at times. Amazingly, people do this on a daily basis and I don’t ever see any accidents!

Reclining Buddha

First stop of the trip: Wat Pho. This is a temple famous for a gigantic reclining Buddha. We arrive at the temple and pay for a ticket. Well, not all of us — only the farang (foreigners). If you’re Thai, you get in free. This would be a recurring theme of the trip.

The first thing I notice about the temple grounds is that there is nothing austere about them. Colors are vibrant, everything is lavish. Gold is everywhere. Almost gaudy. It’s quite a stark contrast to the cathedrals of Europe. However, it’s not bad, and after a while, I get used to it, even start to appreciate it.

Time for the main attraction. We go up to the steps of the temple, take our shoes off, and enter the building. Buddha is big. Enormous. He takes up the entire space. He’s also looking pretty happy — after all, he’s looking pretty comfortable, lying down and all that. It’s a really impressive sight. The temple walls are also really detailed, but Buddha dominates, and you can’t keep your eyes off of him.

While you’re eyes are on him, your ears are hearing strange noises…. it sounds like metallic rain. On the back wall of the temple, there’s a row of about 50 pots, with people putting pennies into them. Siam’s friend Note explains that if you put a penny in each pot, your wish is granted. I buy pennies for me and Jon, wish for a fun trip for all, and get to work. Wish granted.

Wat Phra Kaew

Next up: The Grand Palace. This is home to Wat Phra Kaew, home of the Emerald Buddha. It’s explained to us that it’s not really made of emerald, but jade. It’s the most sacred Buddha in Thailand. We enter the grounds (after paying the farang fee, naturally), and walk around. It’s even more gold and colors than the first Wat. Also, there are statues of giants that guard the palace scattered around. It’s really cool. We take our shoes off and enter the temple.

Inside, you see the Emerald Buddha. It’s tiny. It’s also really high up on a gigantic pyramid of gold ornamentation. It’s quiet. Monks are meditating. We sit down and soak it all in. It’s really peaceful in here — I could stay for hours. Unfortunately, there’s more to see, so we only stay for a few minutes.

Once out on the temple grounds, we come upon a water fountain. We’re all thirsty and drink up. That is, all of us except for Jon, who’s leery of drinking tap water. Ironically, the only one on the trip who had stomach problems was Jon. He should have had the holy temple water! Now we’re all immortal except for him.

After walking the grounds, we’re all hungry and stop at something close to a strip mall and eat. It has air conditioning, which is all we really needed at that point. I also learn about the proper Thai way to eat food: with a fork and spoon. You use the fork to shovel stuff onto your spoon, then eat with the spoon. The spoon is big, and you can put a bunch of food on it. It makes for fast eating.

Next up, Dusit Palace. Well, not really. Due to a late lunch, and the unending Bangkok traffic, we arrive just in time for the palace to close. We walk around the grounds a bit, and move on. It was probably pretty nice inside. Next time.

Our big entertainment for the night is going to be a river cruise and dinner. We drive up to the hotel where the cruise begins, and have drinks until it’s time. We all drink Chang beer and wish that the air conditioning would work just a little better. Jet lag is starting to creep in just a bit.

View of Wat Arun from the river cruise

Siam’s family meets us at the hotel, and we all board the boat. It’s a nice boat, and we immediately sit down and order food. Well, Siam’s family orders the food. That was one of the really nice things about the trip…. the Thais ordered food for everyone, and it was all good. Traditionally, all big meals in Thailand are family style. You get to try a bit of everything, and it’s all good, trust me. They would order it, and we would eat it. We had a lot of seafood on this meal, and it was tasty. The boat sets off on the trip, and they say it will be an hour and a half long.

We go up to the top of the boat and watch the sights. We get to see the buildings and temples all lit up at night. It’s cool. However, jet lag has really set in, and the environment is perfect for sleeping. We all sit in silence and fight the urge to sleep. Oh, and the hour and a half is actually four hours.

After the cruise, we go back to the hotel and crash. A pretty awesome first day.

My friends Siam and Meow went off to Bangkok to get married. A group of us decided to go to the ceremony and get a chance to see a part of the world we’d never been before. So, we bought the plane tickets and set off on our grand adventure!

THE BEGINNING

Keeping ourselves entertained

Jon and Neff pick me up at my house at 5 in the morning. We drive to the Austin airport and set off for DFW. One plane trip down! At DFW, we meet up with Alex and Tang, his girlfriend. Unfortunately, Tang shows up in a wheelchair. Apparently, she had ‘accidentally’ fallen down a flight of stairs and broken her ankle. We suspect Alex had something to do with this — his motives unknown. Anyway, we set off for Tokyo — Jon in Business Class, the rest of us in Coach. I ask Jon if he’s going to visit us during the flight. His response: “Why?”. It turns Jon ends up drinking several glasses of wine while enjoying a level of service us average folks could only dream of.

Welcome to Japan!

The flight is long — about 12 hours or so. We pass the time by watching movies, reading, playing DS, eating mediocre food, and dreaming of the time when the flight would actually be over. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Finally, we set down in Tokyo, just in time for us to enjoy a 6 hour layover at Narita airport. Well, that is, all of us except for Jon and Tang, who somehow have an earlier flight to Bangkok. We spend the time wandering around the airport looking at the crazy prices and crazy food. I drink some jasmine tea in a PET bottle. What’s a PET bottle? I don’t know, but it has its own trash receptacle.

Sleep deprived Neff

After people-watching for a while at the airport, it’s decided that white people, particularly white women, are officially passe. Every time we see a white woman walk by, we say, “Move along. You’re blocking the view.” This amuses us to no end in our sleep-deprived state.

Once on board for Bangkok, the lack of sleep kicks in, and I’m out like a light. I miss all meals, but that’s fine with me. Once we land in Bangkok, the woman next to me (she was white…. move along) asks if I noticed when she hurdled me to go to the bathroom. I had no idea. We step off the plane, and are greeted by heat and humidity. Even though it’s 11 at night, it’s stifling. We get through Immigration, and are greeted by Siam. He’s holding up the Hook ‘em Horns sign. A welcome sight!

We drive to the hotel. It’s really nice. It’s got a bed. I pass out.

I’ve been having some pretty scary dreams lately, so I thought I would share them with you. Last night, I was having this dream where I was on a big boat, something like a large yacht. It was the middle of the night and it was pitch black. There was a killer on the boat and people were getting murdered a la Ten Little Indians. Well, for some reason there’s a long rope just outside of the yacht (which is anchored to the sky? think Truman Show) and I climb up on the rope because that seemed like a safe place to be and couldn’t get murdered there. So after a while, I get to thinking that the killer is gone and it’s safe to get back on the boat. So I start swinging on the rope, gaining momentum, until I have a lot of speed going and then I let go of the rope when I’m over the boat. I land and then I’m running on the boat because of all the momentum I had. Well, I turn around and this dark shadowy figure is running at me top speed with hatchet. He reaches me a couple of seconds later, starts swinging the hatchet and…

I yell. I physically yell myself awake. I felt like an idiot. It was 5 in the morning.

I had this other scary dream a couple of weeks ago, and I wrote it down in the morning. This is what I wrote:

“grown-up son in family dies, they bury him.
mother has dream that son was buried alive…it’s so vivid she goes out to cemetery in the middle of the night, starts digging with hands above her son’s grave. she gets down a few inches, but then the son’s hands appear through the dirt and are moving…he is attempting to dig himself out.

mom freaks out and drives away, doesn’t tell family.
son arrives at house by the next morning and whole family starts freaking out. their son is a zombie. they all get in the car (a station wagon) and drive to the beach to get away.”

So, on Monday, I was selected as a juror for a criminal case here in Travis County. This was the first time I had ever been summoned for jury duty. They lawyers had 60 of us to choose from, and I was one of the 12 selected. The jury selection process is interesting in itself. It’s more of a de-selection process, and several people were trying their hardest to get out of it. I was not one of those people, mainly because I really can’t be someone I’m not, and whine or lie my way out of it. Also, the judge asked if anyone had been charged with a criminal offense, of which about 15% of the 60 had been charged. One was a little old lady who you’d never think would be a criminal. So, my takeaway from that is that we’re surrounded by criminals all the time, and we don’t even think about it.

The trial was basically like being at a live taping of a Jerry Springer episode. It was a domestic violence case, and the man (who was previously charged with family assault) had beaten and choked his girlfriend. There was plenty of evidence and multiple witnesses, so the case was fairly cut and dry. We found him guilty of aggravated assault, and the judge handed down the sentence: 8 years in prison.

It was fascinating and assuring to see the legal process in action. It was definitely a fair trial and everything was done professionally and by the book. I’m somewhat in awe that I had the power to determine this man’s innocence or guilt. I’m glad we didn’t have to determine the duration of his prison sentence. I feel bad locking someone up, even though they did something terrible.

Hopefully the system will work and he will come out of prison a rehabilitated man, and in the meantime the girlfriend will find someone who is not abusive to her. We can only hope.

So I finally broke down and watched Gone with the Wind this weekend. I’ve wanted to see it mainly because my middle name is Rhett, and that comes from one of the main characters, Rhett Butler. It was a decent movie. It really, really romanticized the pre-Civil War South, like it was something created by Jane Austen. Anyway, I think I figured out why the Confederacy didn’t win that war: they chose the wrong national anthem. Besides the obvious racism in the lyrics, the song is just too happy. I mean, I caught myself literally whistlin’ Dixie while I was folding laundry. Imagine if the Confederates had won and they had a team in the World Cup today. All the players would have to sing those awful lyrics and yell out ‘Hooray! Hooray!’ in front of the whole world. By the way, that’s the premise of the movie CSA. It’s a crazy mockumentary about what the world would be like today if the South had won. It’s pretty unnerving.

And today I learned that when there’s a roach in my bedroom, I turn into Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction. I start quoting scripture and laying down my wrath with great vengeance. And I don’t stop until that roach is pulverized into oblivion. Only then I can sleep peacefully, safe in the knowledge my work has been done.

You know, I may not have one of those stickers or ribbons on my car proclaiming that I love America, but I am glad to be an American. This country was founded on the principles of the Enlightenment: the value of human life and liberty. I’m very grateful that I wasn’t born in the Middle East. The whole Denmark cartoon reaction was ridiculous, and today I read this article: Iraqis shot ‘for wearing shorts’. How backward is your country when shit like this happens? I do believe that things need to change over there, but I don’t agree with our President’s policy of forcing regime change in the area. The people in these countries have to want to change, and they have to do the changes themselves. If some other country forces change upon them, they won’t like it. What needs to happen is a Middle Eastern Enlightenment, where the people realize the value of the individual and human rights and freedom of expression are vital for modern society.

I’ll get off my little pedestal now.